The Cowboy's Christmas Blessings Read online

  It had been the best decision he’d ever made. And he owed it to his late uncle to secure the ranch’s future. Judd needed to make sure it would be in good hands if anything happened to him. But who would appreciate the property and cattle the way he did?

  No one came to mind. He wasn’t close enough to anyone to name them as beneficiary in his will. He needed to figure it out, soon. He wanted it done before the new year came around. All he had to do was look at Nicole, still in her midtwenties, who’d already lost a husband. People could die at any time. Including him.

  When Judd asked Aunt Gretchen for advice, she’d suggested, as she always did, he get married and have children. As much as he’d like a partner to grow old with and a few kids to raise, he didn’t see it happening. He was too quiet, and his two previous relationships had ended badly. Both women had claimed he was too reserved and they couldn’t read his mind.

  Had he ever asked them to? Judd almost shook his head. He didn’t get women and they didn’t get him. Never had. Never would.

  “Sorry.” Nicole came back, patting her nose with a tissue. “Now, where were we?”

  “The furniture.” He swept his arm across the room. “Do you need me to move any of it out?”

  She hesitated. “After Aaron died, I gave away our living room furniture. We’d gotten it secondhand from his parents, and it had seen better days. The dining table was damaged in the move, so I got rid of it, too. My bedroom set and all my other stuff is in storage.”

  “I’ll clear out the furniture from both bedrooms.” He’d ask Dallas and Clay, his two full-time ranch hands, to help him haul it out to his pole barn tomorrow.

  “You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

  He almost laughed at the thought of her being trouble. If anything, she’d saved him from trouble. For almost twenty years he’d dreaded every social event this town expected him to attend...until January, when she’d arrived. She made the events bearable.

  It wasn’t a romantic thing, though.

  She was a widow. With three babies.

  And way too young for him.

  Romance was out of the question.

  “Let me know when you want to move in,” he said. “I’ll help load and unload your stuff.”

  “Judd...” There it was, his name again. The hairs on his arms rose. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. She’d be living here in the cabin. Close by. And she was real pretty.

  No big deal. He’d spend his days the way he had since he’d turned eighteen. Riding around the ranch. Not hanging out with Nicole Taylor and her cute little triplets.

  “Don’t say you’d be imposing,” he said. “The cabin’s empty. And I’m always out taking care of cattle and the ranch. You won’t even know I’m here.”

  Her eyes flickered with hope.

  Why was he holding his breath waiting for her answer? He had no stake in this. It would be better for him if she didn’t live here. He didn’t like complications, didn’t do relationships anymore.

  “I don’t feel right not paying you.” Her frail voice did him in.

  There was no way he was taking a cent from her. No. Way.

  “Here. It’s yours. I won’t take your money.” He shoved the key into her hand. He wasn’t letting her or those babies go homeless. His uncle Gus had taught him better than that.

  * * *

  Nicole stared at the key in her palm. The metal was warm from Judd’s hand. The warmth was nothing compared to the heat blasting her heart, though. Of all the generous things people had done for her since Aaron’s death, this was the kindest.

  She scrambled to figure out a way forward. Part of her was terribly thankful he didn’t want her money, but the other part balked at paying nothing. He’d made it clear he wouldn’t accept rent. There had to be some way she could repay him. And shouldn’t they at least discuss this arrangement before she moved in?

  “What if you need the cabin? Didn’t you say it was for guests?” She curled her fingers around the key, not wanting him to change his mind but knowing these questions had to be asked.

  “I never have guests.”

  “What if you do?”

  “My house is plenty big enough for anyone who’d want to stay.”

  She couldn’t argue with that. Still...

  “Okay, but let’s say someone else comes along, someone who could actually pay you rent. Would you give me a couple weeks’ notice so I could find something else?” She hated the thought of moving in and later being forced out. It was better to know the expectations right off the bat.

  “It’s yours.” His eyes were dark blue, like the sky right before dusk. “I wouldn’t kick you out. My income is from the ranch, not from renting out this cabin.”

  “I’d need to move in soon—really soon.” She bit her bottom lip. Her mom had put her in a bind. If Nicole had been given more time, this process wouldn’t be so stressful.

  “You can move in today if you want.”

  Today. A thrill of excitement sped down her spine. She was going to have her own place! Her own bedroom. Her own kitchen. No more tiptoeing around Mom’s or Stella’s needs.

  But today was too soon. If he cleared out the bedroom furniture tomorrow, she could technically move in on Tuesday. Maybe her friends wouldn’t mind skipping their weekly support group session to help her move in. She didn’t have a ton of stuff. The babies had been sharing a bedroom with her at Mom’s place, so it wouldn’t take long to pack up. Everything else was in storage. It would be a relief to not have to pay those fees anymore.

  Judd was helping her more than he knew. How could she make it up to him?

  The one thing she prided herself on was her cooking, especially baking. She’d barely cooked or baked since last December, when Aaron’s respiratory infection turned out to be a lung complication from Becker muscular dystrophy. They’d both thought he’d live until middle age, but he’d developed pneumonia and died on Christmas Day.

  She missed cooking and baking. She missed the simple things in her old life.

  Her old life was over.

  It was time to create a new one, and living in this cabin would be a good start.

  “I’ll cook supper for you,” she blurted out.

  “What?” Was that fear in his eyes?

  “Yes, I’ll make you supper.” The idea grew as she spoke. She might not have a lot to offer, but she knew what cowboys in these parts liked to eat. “Stop by in the evening and I’ll have a meal ready for you.”

  “It’s not necessary.”

  “I’m a fine cook.” Nicole raised her chin. “And I’m an even better baker. You won’t take rent, and I won’t live here without giving you something. So, please, take my food. Cooking is the one thing I’m good at.”

  “You’re good at a lot of things.” His voice was husky and his cheeks grew red.

  His words softened the brittle edges of her doubts about herself. Maybe she wasn’t as helpless as she felt. A fresh beginning might make the raw panic she’d been pushing away for so long go away for good.

  “What time do you usually eat?” she asked.

  “It’s too much.” He shook his head. “You’ve got the babies. You don’t have time for all that.”

  “I’ll make time for it.” Saying the words out loud filled her with the sense of purpose missing since Aaron died. She could do this. The triplets had recently begun sleeping through the night, giving her more energy during the day.

  “It doesn’t feel right.” He stood with his legs wide.

  “Feels right to me.”

  He studied her. His jaw tightened. Finally, he nodded. “Not every day, though. You need a break.”

  “I really don’t.”

  “No weekends and that includes Fridays. You should relax.”

  Relax? The thought was laughable. She had no idea how t
o relax anymore, and with three babies, she didn’t have time to, anyhow.

  “Monday through Thursday. You can stop by at six. Deal?” She held out her hand.

  He stared at it for a few seconds. Then he shook it. “Deal.”

  Finally, something was going right in her life. She had a free place to live. A great little cabin to call her own. Now she just had to get through Christmas and the anniversary of Aaron’s death without falling apart. Then life would go on as usual.

  Chapter Two

  Late Tuesday afternoon, Judd loosened the straps holding down the crib in the bed of his truck. Mason Fanning and Dylan Kingsley had been helping him move Nicole’s items from storage and her mom’s house to the cabin all afternoon. This was the final item. Her friends Eden Page; Mason’s wife, Brittany; and Dylan’s fiancée, Gabby Stover, were inside helping her unpack. The cold wind brushed his cheeks as he let down the tailgate. What if people talked about Nicole living on his ranch?

  There was nothing to talk about. She was a grieving widow with triplet babies, and no one would realistically pair her with him even if she wasn’t.

  “Let me help.” Dylan hopped up on the bed of the truck and grasped an end of the crib. Together, they lowered it to the ground. Dylan worked as a ranch hand for Stu Miller and was marrying Gabby in the spring. Judd thought highly of the unpretentious cowboy.

  As they carried the crib to the front porch, Gabby held the door open for them. She owned the local inn and always went out of her way to include Judd in social activities, whether he wanted to go or not. The way her eyes lit up for Dylan, well, Judd wouldn’t mind if a woman looked at him like that. Inside, he caught a glimpse of Nicole laughing as she held one of the triplets. He quickly glanced away.

  He and Dylan managed to get the crib down the hall and into the bedroom with little fuss. The other two cribs, a changing table and a long dresser were crammed into the room. Boxes were piled along a wall. The sound of feminine chatter, occasional chuckles and baby noises drifted from the living area.

  “Is that it?” Mason leaned his forearms on either side of the doorway. He owned a cattle ranch near Rendezvous and had married Brittany Green earlier this year. Ever since the wedding, Mason had gotten more involved in the community. Wife or not, Judd didn’t see himself ever being more active in the community. Socializing had never been his strong suit. He didn’t know what to say, and sitting around gabbing felt like a waste of time, anyway. He had a ranch to run.

  “Yeah, that’s it.” Judd led the way back to the living room. Eden Page was strapping one of the babies into a seat. Eden was single and not dating anyone. Like Judd, she was reserved, which should have made them ideal for each other, but he wasn’t feeling it. He liked Eden; he just didn’t like Eden. He assumed the feeling was mutual.

  One of the babies let out a cry. Gabby tossed a pacifier to Eden, who gave it to the little guy. Judd took in the boxes and piles of unpacked items yet to find a place. There was a lot left to do before this cabin would get organized. At least Nicole and Brittany had moved to the kitchen, where they were putting away plates.

  He paused a moment to get a good look at the babies. They all had wispy brown hair, big eyes and chubby cheeks. The little girl was the smallest and quietest. The two boys were kicking their feet, blowing spit bubbles and making cute sounds. His attention returned to the girl. So tiny, staring up and watching the world.

  Funny how he had the urge to scoop her up and protect her. Something told him the boys would be roughhousing and wanting to ride horses as soon as they could walk. He smiled just thinking about it.

  He’d never been around babies much. He’d certainly never held one or even noticed them, really. And here he was, thinking about kids who weren’t even his own. He hoped Nicole living here wouldn’t turn him into a softy.

  Aunt Gretchen’s suggestion about having a wife and family came to mind. If he had children, he’d be able to show them the importance of the ranch. He’d train them to respect the land and cattle. Then he wouldn’t worry about this place being in good hands when he got old. Lately, he’d been waking up in the middle of the night, troubled about what would happen to it if he died. What if it was sold to be developed? Or split into smaller parcels?

  This vast property was meant for raising cattle. It would break his heart to think of it used for anything else.

  “Is that all right with you, Judd?” Nicole had meandered over. What was she saying?

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” Her delicate perfume—light and sweet, the same as the woman who wore it—drifted to him.

  “Dylan and Gabby are going to run to town and get pizzas for us.”

  “Oh, right.” He should leave. These were her friends. He got along fine with them, but he didn’t want to cramp her style. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  “What? No.” Her forehead wrinkled as she shook her head. “You’re eating with us. Did you think I wanted you to leave?”

  Actually, he did think it, and he wasn’t sure why. Default assumption, he guessed.

  “I’d be upset if you didn’t stay. After all you’ve done—moving my stuff and clearing out the rooms earlier...”

  Were her eyes getting teary or was he imagining it? She seemed emotional. He shifted from one foot to the other. He’d never been good with female emotions.

  “It was nothing. I’m happy to help out.” Moving her stuff was easy, and she acted like he’d saved the day. He hadn’t realized how much his assistance meant to her.

  “Thank you.” She sniffed. Her eyes were definitely watery.

  “Are you okay?” Why had he asked her that? He knew better than to ask women if they were okay. The question only encouraged them to share a wagonload of emotions he couldn’t handle. It typically meant several minutes of them expressing their feelings and him trying to decipher what they were talking about. His last girlfriend, Josie, came to mind. He’d liked her. Tried to understand where she was coming from. And she’d accused him of being cold and unreachable before she’d slammed out of his life.

  He still had no clue what he’d done wrong.

  “I’m fine.” Nicole looked away. “New chapter in my life, that’s all.”

  Yeah, it was a new chapter in her life, and he felt bad about it. He’d never known her husband. Nicole and Aaron had been so much younger than him. They’d married and moved out of state right after graduating from high school. Talk around town was Aaron had been charismatic and well liked. When he was a teenager, he was diagnosed with some disease—Judd couldn’t remember what—and the town rallied around him, hosting wild-game dinners to help with his medical expenses.

  Judd was under no illusions. Nicole had lost her soul mate, the love of her life, when Aaron died.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this must be rough.”

  She placed her hand on his sleeve, and the contact surprised him. Her eyes glistened with gratitude. “I’m blessed to have such good friends. Thanks for helping me out.”

  She considered him a good friend?

  Longing stirred in his gut. He took in the open living space with her friends chatting as they unpacked and played with the babies.

  He’d never been part of a group.

  He wasn’t the group type. Not even this one.

  “Hey, Judd, could you give me a hand back here?” Mason called from the master bedroom. “I want to get this bed set up.”

  “No problem.” His gaze lingered on Nicole as she went over to check on the babies. She took the tiny girl out of the seat and smothered her with kisses on her cheeks and neck. The baby smiled. Judd did, too.

  Being part of Nicole’s group was a one-night-only thing. Otherwise, it would put him in too much contact with her. Then people would talk. In a small town like Rendezvous, gossip was inevitable. Hanging around her all the time wouldn’t be good for her reputation.

  Besides,
he needed his space. Always had. Always would.

  * * *

  “Thanks again for everything.” Nicole stood in the doorway as her friends left. The crescent moon in the black sky seemed too tired to give off much light. She knew the feeling. Judd had been the first to leave. He’d eaten a few pizza slices and been on his way. She’d wanted to convince him to stay longer, but she hadn’t dared. He’d been so helpful, and it had been nice to lean on him.

  Leaning on him wasn’t something she should get used to, though. She didn’t want to wear out her welcome. She needed this cabin too much to jeopardize their arrangement.

  She closed the door. Every light in the cabin was on. It was just her and the babies. Tonight would be the first time she’d be sleeping in a bedroom by herself since they were born. It would also be the first night she had no other adult nearby to help if something went wrong. Not that anything would, but...

  What if she couldn’t do this—raise the triplets—on her own? Her breathing grew shallow, and the scary hollowness she’d lived with after Aaron died threatened to return.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to regulate her breathing. Her grief counselor, Mrs. Reeves, always told her to think of the scary hollowness like being in a stairwell with steps descending into darkness. If she chose to go down them, she’d be surrounded by darkness and fear. But the stairwell also had a side door with a glowing exit sign above it. If she opened the door, it led to sunshine and healthy triplets and moving forward in confidence.

  She had a choice—take the stairs down to paralyzing fear or go out the side door and focus on the good things in her life.

  It had given her a way to cope through the terrible days after Aaron’s death. Just because he’d died didn’t mean her reality was a place of pitch-black darkness. Good things still existed. She’d focus on them. All three of them were in the living room at the moment.